As useful as a pair of shoes to a snake

phr.

Heard in Tipperary

Describing someone or something that is useless or of no value.

In use

Tom: "They are putting your man full forward" John: "He is as useful as a pair of shoes to a snake"

Posh English

Tom: They are putting that fellow in at full forward. John: He is about as useful as a pair of shoes to a serpent.