I'd rather get up on a bilberry goat

exp.

Heard in Waterford

Someone so facially challenged that you'd rather commit fornication with an exceptionally hairy, horned beast of the bovid variety specific to the bilberry rock region of Waterford city.

In use

Ye didn't go off with dat blaa-face boy did ye? Ah jaysis I'd rather get up on a Bilberry goat den her boy!

Posh English

You did not depart in the company of that unfortunate pastry-visaged chap, did you? Good heavens, I should rather engage in amorous congress with a mountain beast than that lady.